A year ago I said I was putting my foot in the stirrup and my butt back in the saddle. Until the stirrup broke and the saddle fell off. If you’ve read my blog before, you know what that means (basically, that there weren’t any new posts for a year). If you haven’t, well, it doesn’t really matter. Start here.
When I quit full time work the summer of 2020, I didn’t realize how hard my next job would be. I experienced how hard it is to sit and do nothing. How hard it is to wait. Was I now unemployed? Was I in between jobs? Was I taking a hiatus or a sabbatical? Was I actually retired? What was I? Who was I?
Well I was certainly unemployed. In between jobs? Hmmm, maybe, don’t know, define job. Perhaps on hiatus, since my activity was certainly interrupted. Possibly a sabbatical, since I definitely had a change from a normal routine.
Often a sabbatical is taken for time to research, travel or write. But sabbatical is actually related to sabbath, which is referred to in the Bible as rest. There are different specific connotations to which it applies, but it seems no matter why or when a sabbatical happens, there’s a return to a routine. So maybe that’s not me either.
When I quit full time work the summer of 2020, I didn’t realize how hard my next job would be. Sitting; doing nothing; waiting. It took me awhile, but I have gotten to a place where sitting, doing nothing, and waiting do not cause me to be uncomfortable anymore. Don’t get me wrong, I rarely sit and do nothing for long. But the times I do, I actually enjoy now.
And this is where a lot of things took a turn.
In the sitting, in the waiting, in the doing nothing, there was actually a lot happening. I started to recognize that, no matter how uncomfortable it seemed at times, this was a place God used to slow me down, clear my head of all the duties and obligations of a full-time job and wipe away the identity I had connected to it. All in preparation for what was coming next.
When I had nothing better to do, I was able to do a lot of reading, and let’s be honest, a lot of, well, nothing! My “hard drive” got cleaned of a lot of unnecessary data (all those thoughts I kept in there to deal with and worry about), and reformatting began to take place. I began to know what it is to truly relax. I began to have a better ability to see what was most important. I began to have time to dream again.
It hasn’t always been that clear. It’s still uncomfortable sometimes. But I have new understanding, new direction, new focus, and a new attitude about it all. I want to continue blogging with my original intention. But with life changes (no more kids at home, and oh yeah, retirement😉), I suspect there will be new things emerge, and I invite you to stick around for the journey. Hopefully you’ll read something that will encourage, motivate, provoke, or in some way stimulate thought or action.
So about that sabbatical . . . I’ve had a lot of rest. And I guess I have returned to a routine . . . of sorts. Now excuse me while I get back to what I routinely do . . .